Granted, there is alcoholism, child abuse, husband and wife beating, bankruptcy, unfaithfulness, and all those other distortions of relationship to which we have alluded. These are all awful things. Granted, there are personalities suffering from pathologies of all sorts that make them, or perhaps us, almost impossible with which to live. So we come to the conclusion that person no longer deserves us. Or perhaps that person should have someone better for them than us, so we do an end run around the hard work of resolving our differences.

…………………………………………………

The truth was so succinctly stated by Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier when he said there is no such thing as incompatibility. Incompatibility is a word that we have created to give us an excuse to get out of relationship in which we are unwilling to work. So we continue one end run after another, avoiding that privileged fulfillment that comes from working a problem through, a problem that usually involves me just as much as her.

…………………………………………………