INTRODUCTION

Men, women, children, the elderly, handicapped persons – even children of God experience verbal abuse, or will in their lifetime in one form or another. Verbal abuse is an equal-opportunity evil that often escalates to physical violence. As the saying goes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” I personally experienced this truth – first the yelling and screaming of vicious words – then the name calling – followed by pushing and shoving. I left my marriage of five years before the physical violence increased – it was coming.

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After the first year of marriage, I began to recognize the control tactics that my ex-husband was exercising with tyranny. His stinging venom often caused me severe emotional pain, but I didn’t have the words to describe what he was doing to me at the time. I didn’t know anything about verbal abuse – at least not in terms of the applying the label to his actions. I just thought he had a very bad temper, and I was afraid of its power.

I didn’t have a problem with being the “submissive” Christian wife. In fact, when you have a Christian husband who is humble enough to submit to Christ, your marriage can be a beautiful experience. However, when “Christian” husbands misunderstand their roles as husbands, they take it upon themselves to rule their households with control that turns abusive when they are not “obeyed.” In my case, I refused to be treated like a child. My Bible taught me that I was a “joint heir” with my husband, and God loved me just as much as He loved him.

What I rejected for example, were the “Things to do lists” that my ex wrote for me on my day off from work. He would try to control how my day would go, and was determined to treat me like a child instead of his partner in the marriage. The lists did not include things that he desired of me for the betterment of the marriage – no – they were more like a list of daily chores. I resented that immensely. I took care of my family, my home and treasured my days off from work. When I rejected his lists, his anger took over, and the verbal abuse began. I was treated more like a child than a wife, and that didn’t set too well with me, especially in front of other people.

Many women today do not understand that what they are suffering amounts to abuse – whether verbal, physical, or emotional, etc. It is my hope that you will be enlightened, and seek God for strength to endure, or leave. Not every person who is being abused will seek to dissolve their marriage or relationship. Therefore, in order to endure the mistreatment, only God can help them to do that – if it is according to His Will – I doubt it. It is not His Will that anyone should suffer violence and abuse – especially from a spouse, or loved one.

Children of God will suffer as prophesied that we would, however,  it is “the world” that should be inflicting the pain, not those who we are married or related to. Please educate your-self concerning verbal abuse. Ask God to show you what you should do about it, and how you may use your negative experiences to help others.