Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence

THE STING OF VERBAL ABUSE

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 And the tongue is a fire,

the very world of iniquity;

the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body,

and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.”

(James 3:6-NASB)

INTRODUCTION

Men, women, children, the elderly, handicapped persons – even children of God experience verbal abuse, or will in their lifetime in one form or another. Verbal abuse is an equal-opportunity evil that often escalates to physical violence. As the saying goes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” I personally experienced this truth – first the yelling and screaming of vicious words – then the name calling – followed by pushing and shoving. I left my marriage of five years before the physical violence increased – it was coming.

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After the first year of marriage, I began to recognize the control tactics that my ex-husband was exercising with tyranny. His stinging venom often caused me severe emotional pain, but I didn’t have the words to describe what he was doing to me at the time. I didn’t know anything about verbal abuse – at least not in terms of the applying the label to his actions. I just thought he had a very bad temper, and I was afraid of its power.

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I didn’t have a problem with being the “submissive” Christian wife. In fact, when you have a Christian husband who is humble enough to submit to Christ, your marriage can be a beautiful experience. However, when “Christian” husbands misunderstand their roles as husbands, they take it upon themselves to rule their households with control that turns abusive when they are not “obeyed.” In my case, I refused to be treated like a child. My Bible taught me that I was a “joint heir” with my husband, and God loved me just as much as He loved him.

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What I rejected for example, were the “Things to do lists” that my ex wrote for me on my day off from work. He would try to control how my day would go, and was determined to treat me like a child instead of his partner in the marriage. The lists did not include things that he desired of me for the betterment of the marriage – no – they were more like a list of daily chores. I resented that immensely. I took care of my family, my home and treasured my days off from work. When I rejected his lists, his anger took over, and the verbal abuse began. I was treated more like a child than a wife, and that didn’t set too well with me, especially in front of other people.

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Many women today do not understand that what they are suffering amounts to abuse – whether verbal, physical, or emotional, etc. It is my hope that you will be enlightened, and seek God for strength to endure, or leave. Not every person who is being abused will seek to dissolve their marriage or relationship. Therefore, in order to endure the mistreatment, only God can help them to do that – if it is according to His Will – I doubt it. It is not His Will that anyone should suffer violence and abuse – especially from a spouse, or loved one.

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Children of God will suffer as prophesied that we would, however,  it is “the world” that should be inflicting the pain, not those who we are married or related to. Please educate your-self concerning verbal abuse. Ask God to show you what you should do about it, and how you may use your negative experiences to help others.

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NOTE:

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

 

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009

All rights reserved.

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Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®,© Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation - Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
 
Also using scripture from the KJV where noted.
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IF YOU ARE BEING ABUSED!
 
Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
 
To learn more about the Hotline, please click on the following link:
 
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SAFETY ALERT: Computer use can be monitored and it is impossible to completely clear all website footprints.
If you are in danger, please use a safer computer that your abuser can not access
directly or remotely.
 
Learn more about internet safety:

NOTE: THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY PARTICULAR CHURCH OR BELIEF, EXCEPT CHRISTIAN BELIEFS. However, the Wisdom of God can be found wherever God leads us to discover and experience it. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the foundation of this ministry.

 

DISCLAIMER

 

Any information on this site is for informational purposes only. Visitors of this site shall assume all responsibility as to how the shared information will be used on a personal basis. This organization does not provide counseling services of any kind.

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