Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence

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"For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully
 and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, 
I know that full well."
Psalm 139:13-14



Have you ever been labeled as being “too sensitive?” When people say unkind things to you, and you react with shock, disbelief, or even hurt, do they make you feel that you should be able to bear it? Are you often made to feel like there is something wrong with you, because you can’t take a joke-at your expense? Do you often wish that you were “tougher” in order to endure the cruel things that are hurled at you? Are you made fun of because you are sensitive to the feelings and needs of others?


If you have ever been labeled as being “sensitive,” “too sensitive,” “extremely sensitive,” you are not a freak of nature-you are normal! Think about it, most of the people in our world are cold-hearted, unkind, and insensitive. When you survey the deeds of such, which would you rather be, like them or be yourself? Personally, I would rather be the sensitive person that God born me to be, more than any other personality.




Here’s why. I am in tune with the feelings and hurts of other people. I have the ability through my sensitivity to empathize with the plight of those who are less fortunate. Being a sensitive person provides me with the ability to gain valuable insight about people who mean me no good. This may take a little while through interacting with them; however, in time I am able to acknowledge their inability to be genuine at heart. I am in touch with my deeper feelings, and possess the ability to verbally express them in an acceptable manner. Sensitive people tend to balance out the ever-increasing aggression exhibited freely in our society. Our Creator planned a world that includes balance; otherwise, the functions of the sun, moon, and the changing seasons etc, would not serve us as eloquently as they do.


Verbal abusers are very in-tune to sensitive individuals. Sensitivity in our society is viewed as a weakness, a flaw, and a trait to be exploited. Those of a more susceptible nature tend to attract aggressors whose main goal in life is to dominate. Once a verbal abuser succeeds in penetrating your walls of emotional defense, the verbal attacks become more and more vicious. Your kindliness may not afford you the ability or desire to counter attack the abuse, which eventually places you in a position of contrived acceptance.



Once a foothold has been secured, the verbal abuse most often escalates to physical violence. Your sensitive nature affords you the ability to process external stimuli in a very deep way. Therefore, you also process the inflicted emotional and physical pain more intensely, which may produce low self-esteem, depression, and feelings of worthlessness. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that people in general that are verbally abused have a very difficult time recovering mentally, emotionally and psychologically.




I found a very interesting web site that I urge you to take a look at. Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., is the Author of several books including, “The Highly Sensitive Person,” “The Highly Sensitive Child,” and “The Highly Sensitive Person in Love.” I haven’t read any of her books-yet. But I plan to do so. Her web site states that she began “researching high sensitivity in 1991” and her research continues. The scientific term for her research is called, “Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS, the trait’s Scientific term).”


Below are a few of the quotes from her web site that caught my attention:





“We may call our giving in a matter of just being nice or showing our empathy, or we may say we don't care or it isn't worth the hassle to get our way, but this feeling inferior keeps us from speaking our mind or being treated fairly. We don't take up space, so to speak. Our boundaries are whatever the other's boundaries are-for example, we might habitually talk on the phone until the other person wants to hang up, even if we wanted to end it an hour ago.”



“Nor is being highly sensitive something to do with being "feminine." It is found in equal numbers in boys and girls, although men score lower on the self-test because in most cultures today sensitivity is wrongly associated with being feminine. That's because, in this and most aggressive cultures (largely the only ones that are left), men are expected to be ready for a fight, imperious to pain, and therefore bold and "decisive." Hey, if they thought twice about it, maybe they wouldn't fight. So to be good warriors, they have to ignore any deeper thoughts or feelings that might interfere with being aggressive. Women are supposed to be sensitive to feelings and "related," putting those values above competition.”


“Probably the majority of men in our culture and in most of the world could stand to be more related and in touch with their deeper feelings, given the violence we see all around us, much of it done by men who have ignored the feelings of others and their own feelings of compassion. So in the cultural sense, all men should be more "feminine." Less impulsively aggressive, more thoughtful in all senses. That is, more sensitive. But if this part of being feminine is decided by a culture, not by women's innate nature, we might as well call this way of being "it." A sensitive man is more "it." But "it" then has little to do with what women are or do, except that women are supposed to do "it" more and men do "it" less.”



The link to the self-test- Are You Highly Sensitive?

Copyright, Elaine N. Aron, 1996





I took the self-test, and of course my score was high. I already knew it would be, and I don’t have a problem with that. To promote a book, or its author is not the focus of my sharing this information. When I feel directed by the Holy Spirit to read something on a particular site, I want to share it if I feel it to be noteworthy. When I clicked on the link for the newsletter archives, I found out something very valuable about myself, I am not a freak of nature because I possess sensitivity. There is nothing “wrong” with me; it is the way that God made me. My sensitivity serves to provide balance in this ungodly culture that we live in. And I love who I am-in Christ.


Here is the link to the newsletter on this site--






It is the newsletter that drew me further into this wealth of information that I am happy to have been directed to. After reading it, I felt quite differently about myself. It is a waste of time to desire to be like someone else, when God perfectly made the unique somebody that I am.


By the way, abusive and aggressive personalities desire that you not be so sensitive so you can take the abuse more easily. You are “no fun” when you can’t take what they are dishing out. In my opinion, they need a dumping ground for all the ugly-and the hardness that is stored within their hearts. What a waste of life!


Celebrate the YOU that you are always!



 In Defense Of Sensitivity






Jesus wept.

John 11:35











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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009

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Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®,© Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation - Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Also using scripture from the KJV where noted.

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