WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REALLY ABOUT?

Numerous women assume the mistreatment they suffer is a direct result of a something they did, or failed to do. They make the sad mistake of believing that they have the power to change the negative behavior that their mates exhibit. They are wrong, and too often, dead wrong.

A woman who suffers from low self-esteem will often sacrifice herself, and the welfare of her children in order to please or keep her man. In order to appease God, countless Christian women will suffer abuse in silence, believing this is the Will of God for their lives. If their Ministers counsel them to go home and learn to cook better, or pray harder, they often mistake this erroneous advice as a sign from God. The battered woman may conclude that she isn't a "good" wife, or that she must perform penance for sins that she committed in the past. Eventually, this poor soul will forget that Almighty God has forgiven her of her past sins, and that He loves her, forever.

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Dear Sisters, you cannot change the perpetrators behavior. Why? Because it isn't about you. Yes, the violence and abuse is inflicted upon you personally, however, the deep underlying need for POWER and CONTROL is the root of evil in domestic violence. Your abuser has an insatiable craving for dominance. Somewhere in his life, most likely as a child, he came to realize that he could control others through violence and intimidation. Many men have a need to control others because of their personal fears such as abandonment. And there are others who are just plain evil.

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In either case, there is no justifiable excuse for violence against others. Craving power and control to the point of beating a woman down, means that something is very wrong within the perpetrators. And that wrong is "sin."

Let it be understood that those who practice domestic violence are not the only sinners in this world, "for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). We should not make the mistake of thinking that we who are not violent do not commit sin whether it be in word, thought or deed. However, labeling domestic violence as a sin is calling it what it is. Telling the truth about the violence that you are suffering is not about pointing fingers or sitting in judgment. It is saying what God has said, "All unrighteousness is sin" (1 John 5:16-17).

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According to the Random House Dictionary, "unrighteousness" means:

"…not in accordance with right or justice; unfair or unjust:"

Isn't domestic violence unfair and unjust? Isn't it "not in accordance with right or justice?"

Also, the American Heritage Dictionary defines "sin" as follows:"Something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong."

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Would you not agree that domestic violence is shameful, deplorable, and utterly wrong? Isn't it shameful for a Christian man to beat his Christian wife? Or any person to brutalize another period? It is even more deplorable for the world to see violence in our churches. It is wrong! If the unsaved cannot turn to the church when they need guidance, where else can they go? Christians have the Bible, and the Bible has the answers to the world's problems.

After all, God made human beings, and He gave us His Word as a guide. If the leaders of our churches beat their wives, and believe they are correct in their behavior, no wonder those who follow them do err. The Bible that they read can't possibly be the one that our Heavenly Father authored. On the spiritual side, the love and genuine concern that we should have for one another is not being practiced as God commanded. Take a good look at the world as a whole, do you often see the love of God exhibited in all purity, no! We daily experience the opposite, hatred in various forms.

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It is a commendable effort that our government, social agencies and private citizens are trying to combat domestic violence. In their efforts, some have defined this evil as an "epidemic," "devastating," and a "cancer in our homes". But domestic violence is rarely viewed as a sin problem. There may be those who recognize this privately, but publicly, our churches are too reserved on this issue. Until the people of God stand up and call a spade a spade, topical band-aids will continue to be applied without remedy.

On the surface, those who are violent practice domestic violence to gain power and control. However, the bigger picture from a biblical view confirms that they are practicing sin. God is our only hope and our only source of an end to domestic violence. The world may disagree, and the scoffers will stand ready to mock, but we must put on our armor and stand up to violence with the Word of God.

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We are at war my sisters. From the beginning of time our adversary's mission has been the destruction of mankind. The enmity that was placed between the devil and the woman in the Garden of Eden is very much alive today, (Genesis 3). Open your spiritual eyes and see the spiritual war that we are in. The person that is killing you a little each day is doing so by the direction of the dark forces of this world:

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places," (Ephesians 6:12).

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We cannot combat domestic violence and abuse with our puny human strength, and words which have no power. To argue with your abuser and try to get him to see your side, and understand how your feel is often useless. You can learn to cook better, try 100 different ways to make love, and wear yourselves out trying to fix a broken man, but you are wasting your time. If you survive the violence, you will look back many years from now and see how the devil stole your precious time here on earth. You will have missed your Divine Calling to do the work that you were born to do, and you will have forfeited the joy and peace that could have been yours.

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It is time to move out of God's way, and let Him have the Glory and Honor that is due Him. He gave us the victory as Believers, now we just have to learn to walk in it. It won't be easy, but the battle has already been won. Jesus Christ won the battle on the cross. It is up to us to show the world that the battle of domestic violence can be won. At the end of our time on earth, isn't it more important that we tried harder to please God than man? We are living in critical times my sisters, the Last Days. Pray that God will open your spiritual eyes to see the truth of domestic violence. It is EVIL!