She Was Married To Christ First

Have you ever noticed that once marriage takes place between two Christians, there is often more friction than harmony? It would seem that two Christian’s who become “one” would be a powerful force to be reckoned with. But sadly, just the opposite happens in numerous Christian marriages. Now I am no expert on marriage, but there are specific problems that I have noticed which contribute to abuse and domestic violence in Christian marriages.

One of the main things that I will discuss later on is the fact that we don’t do our homework when dating; I plead “guilty.” As human beings, we tend to allow our senses to rule when it comes to making important decisions for our lives. If something tastes, feels, looks, sounds, or smells good to us, then we conclude that it is good for us. Remember that is how Sister Eve got herself and the whole world in trouble (Gen.3). Another thing, we often ignore sound biblical advice, “Test the spirits to see if they are of God,” (1John 4:1). But we will get back to these points in another article.

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Ok, now to turn up the heat. This statement is addressed to all Christian husbands: “Your wife’s status in Christ does not change with marriage.” With that said, many of you think that Jesus is no longer the Lord of your wife’s life once you marry her. You erroneously remove Christ as her ultimate Head, and put yourself in His place as Lord of her life. And when she doesn’t recognize you as her new “master,” you often resort to drastic measures to get her to comply. If your verbal assaults do not bear fruit, your next tactic is to beat her into obedience to your will, wishes, desires, and commands.

Prior to “I do,” your wife had and still has an obligation to live according to God’s Word; not YOUR word, God’s Word! Whatever commandments that she obeyed as a single person, she still has to obey them as a married woman. Marriage does not change her responsibility to Christ, and it doesn’t change your responsibility as well. When the bible says,”…ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and the household of God;”¹ this refers to male and female, single and married believers. So when a Christian woman is physically beaten by her Christian husband, he is beating a “fellow citizen,” “a saint,” and a member of the “household of God.”

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Christians serve the “One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.”² All believers in Christ have the same God and heavenly Father. And “unto every one of us is given grace…” and marriage does not void this “measure of the gift of Christ.” In fact, “God hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus…”³ All followers of God are His “dear children…”⁴ And how are we as His “dear children” to walk? We are to “walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor.”

To make my points much clearer, we will use a wife named “Mary” in my illustrations. Mary has been “born again” unto a “living hope” and this through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.⁶ She has an “imperishable inheritance” reserved for her in heaven. And when Mary gets married, she is still “born again,” and her “living hope” is still alive in Christ Jesus. Her “imperishable inheritance” doesn’t get cancelled because she gets married. It is still “reserved for her in heaven.”