Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence

The Wrong Advice!
Email subscriptons
SITE MAP - Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence. Org
DV Personal Stories
The Things We Don't Want To Talk About
You Are Not Alone!
Judges Chapter 19
Harpo and Sophia -- (The Color Purple)
The Signs of Abuse
Resources For Those Who Abuse
Domestic Violence/Abuse Courses
An Open Letter to Pastors
There Is Nothing New Under The Sun
Preach the Word!
The Wrong Advice
Thus Saith the Lord
She Was Married To Christ First
Biblical Submission
Domestic Violence And Alcohol
Happily Ever After
Teen Dating and Violence
My Favorite Hymns and Prayers
Links - When It Is Time To Leave
Resources For Church Leaders
Visit My Store
Man Is Defiled From Within
Profile of the Sociopath
Can Abusers Change?
Should I Forgive My Abuser?
You Are So Sensitive
Myths That Can Destroy A Marriage
Domestic Violence/The Workplace
Male Victims of Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence and Abusive Women
Domestic Violence and Advertising

The goal of this web site, is to become a one-stop resource for victims of domestic violence and abuse. When in a crisis, time is of the essence to find valuable information quickly. Please join us in this effort to minimize the research for those who need answers now. Donating via Paypal is fast, secure, and free. Thank you very much!

"I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds."
(Jeremiah 17:10)

Many women are reluctant to approach their church leaders with their stories of abuse, and with good reason.  Some may have heard, or read that other women found no solace in the church at all. And still others are advised to make personal changes within themselves in order to make the violence stop. Countless battered women have been advised to make self-sacrificing efforts that only served to destroy them to the core. Numerous women have been advised to cook better, be more spiritual, be more creative in bed, or just keep silent and say nothing to upset their mates.

Granted, marriage is a sacred and holy institution created by Almighty God. In fact, God Himself  “hates divorce.” But what is it about divorce that He hates? In Malachi chapter 2 we shall find the answers. First the priests were rebuked for profaning the holy things of God. They violated the covenant with Levi, and managed their office in a way that was most profitable for themselves and not for the glory of God. By their erroneous doctrine and partiality concerning the teachings of the law, they caused the people to stumble. Worst of all, the priests allowed the taking of foreign wives of heathen nations.


Israel was holy unto the Lord, but by marrying foreign wives, they profaned this holiness.  Israel was prohibited from marrying heathens, but they abused and put away the wives they had of their own nation. Many of the priests bore guilt for this sin, and showed contempt for the marriage covenant as well. The wives flooded the Lord’s altar with their tears, and He heard them. The husband’s dealt treacherously with their wives, and they did not perform their promises to them, but took in concubines to share in the affections that were meant for their wives only. They abused, divorced their wives, and sent them away.

By dealing treacherously with their wives, the prayers of the husbands were hindered, I Peter 3:7. They became, “deceptive, untrustworthy, and unreliable.” 1 The men were even a “danger” to their wives as they abused them before sending them away. The Lord no longer accepted the offerings from their hands, and they could not understand why, yet here is the reason:

"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant," (verse 14). They were further advised to "Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.”


When a man abuses his wife, he is dealing treacherously with the wife of his youth. To advise an abused woman to stay with her husband because God hates divorce is wrong. As shown in Malachi chapter 2, God was very concerned about the way the wives were being treated. So much so, He was very angry, and reminded the husbands that their prayers would be hindered.

No, God doesn’t like divorce, but let’s not stay stuck on that verse alone. God has much to say about the way wives should be treated. She is part of a holy covenant, and should be honored as an equal in that covenant. She is a partner within that covenant. And the covenant gives her many rights, especially one of high honor. 

Therefore, the right advice to the husbands should be, “Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.” Read and study Malachi chapter 2, and you will feel the love that God has for women, especially the wives of covenant. He hears their prayers, and dries their tears with His love.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

Galatians 6:7 


1. "treacherous." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 26 Dec. 2007. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/treacherous>.



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..."I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be My people."
Jeremiah 31:1



"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
-Martin L. King, Jr.

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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009

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Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®,© Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation - Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Also using scripture from the KJV where noted.

Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
To learn more about the Hotline, please click on the following link:
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Any information on this site is for informational purposes only. Visitors of this site shall assume all responsibility as to how the shared information will be used on a personal basis. This organization does not provide counseling services of any kind.

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