Not every woman that is verbally abused is physically abused. Although this is usually the norm, there are exceptions. With the absence of physical violence, perhaps many women just assume they are not being abused. When their mate’s exhibit a bad temper, or lashes out with verbal insults, numerous women feel their partner's behavior is normal. They often conclude, “That's just the way he is.” “He had a bad day.” Or, “I must have done or said something to set him off.”

Funny thing though, when our children have temper tantrums, we immediately try to correct their behavior. It can be embarrassing and nerve wrecking, and more than likely we don’t put up with it.  Johnny throws his toy truck at his sister, and he suffers the consequences of a spanking or punishment. But when Johnny’s father throws a plate at his wife, he just “had a hard day.” So why couldn't it be that Johnny Jr., just had a “hard day?” The school psychologist sends a note home one day, “Johnny is anti-social, and he needs counseling.” You start to worry. You seek immediate solutions.

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We recognize the negative behaviors in our children that we immediately seek to correct. Well, good parents do anyway. But we make excuses and allowances for our mates when they act like little Johnny. In many ways, those who abuse are having adult temper tantrums, but often make the excuse that they are justified. There is never any justification for abusing anyone for any reason. How could little Johnny justify throwing his toy truck at his sister? He can’t!

With the absence of black eyes and broken bones, it is difficult to convince other people that you are being emotionally abused. If you call the police sporting a black eye, the abuser is automatically arrested in many states. But if you tell the police that you are being verbally assaulted, they would not understand. They may ask if your life is being threatened in any way, but to understand the depths of the assault on your mind is beyond them.

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But somewhere deep within your soul, you know that something is wrong. Calling you the “B” word isn’t the same as calling you “Honey.” Your mind doesn’t receive them the same. “Honey” will conjure up warm feelings that make you smile. And the “B” word makes your soul cringe. One will bring tears of joy; the other will bring tears of sorrow.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WARNING SIGNS

"There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic violence. Those who are battered, and those who abuse, come in all personality types. Battered women are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers are not always violent or hateful to their partner in front of others. Most people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at home. So how do you tell?"

https://www.msu.edu/~safe/facts/warning_dv.htm

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