But the facts are that Anne and I had our problems, and those problems emerged not too long after the honeymoon. The sad thing was that Anne and I lived with the myth for a prolonged period of time, at varying degrees of confusion and frustration, wondering why, since we knew we had married the right person, we were both in pain and causing pain for each other. It took us quite a few years before we were prepared to get the help we needed because we were caught up in the "perfect-person myth."

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The truth is that every couple is going to have some problems of one kind or another. Our problems will be different from yours, and your problems will differ from those of others or of your friends. Whenever you get two people together, given the many differences in family backgrounds, cultural expectations, and finely tuned differences in individual temperaments, there will be marital difficulties. The sooner you and I discover this truth and put away the myth, the better off our marriages will be. I am not saying that God did not want you to marry your spouse. I am not saying that there is not a right person for you. What I am saying is that there is no such thing as a perfect person, just as there is no such thing as a perfect family. You and I are sinners saved by God's grace. When we marry, we are still sinners saved by God's grace, and every couple needs God's grace to survive one day at a time.

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I will be the first to admit that Anne and I were quite well suited for each other in many, many ways. In other ways, we weren't. We have had to learn how to cope with this. I thank God that He brought us together, but the proverbial "storybook marriage" is actually that--just a story, fictional in nature.

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