That's the spirit of our day, isn't it?

But what about the biblical teaching that instructs us to "count others better than yourself?" How do we deal with those passages that tell us to treat our wives as we would treat our own bodies? How do we handle those passages that, no matter how freed up we've become in man-woman roles, do call for wives to be adaptable to their husband's leadership and do call for us to be subject to one another as brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ? We are called to serve each other. The truth is that much of our talk about self-esteem can become an introverted narcissism. It can be the same old selfishness revisited with more acceptable nomenclature.

This myth cries out, "I have the right to be happy!" The truth is that you do and you don't. You have the right to be joyful. That is true. No other person has been given the right to rob you and me of our joy. But divorce is never the best route to true happiness. It may happen. It may be inevitable. There may be nothing you can do at this point that will restore that breaking or broken marriage. That's why we at St. Andrew's give such attention to our Divorce Recovery Workshops, having ministered now to over 13,000 persons in the last quarter century. That is why we are here to minister God's grace and the assurance that there is life after divorce. That is why we are here to do all we can to bring healing and new beginning to those who have suffered and caused suffering that has led to a final severing of vows.

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The truth is that divorce need not destroy joy. The truth is that your healthy self-esteem can never ultimately be broken by another human being or ultimately be found in another human being. Your ultimate self-esteem is made in right relationship with God in Jesus Christ. The truth is that true happiness is found in Him. The reality is that He offers joy to those of us who seek our joy in Him.

One of the more touching moments on our daughter Janet's wedding day was a toast that her sister, Carla, her maid-of-honor, gave at the reception. She talked with great insight about Janet and Ryan, their relationship and her love for them. She then ended with a quote from the writer, Madeleine L'Engle, from her book titled Two-Part Invention: The Story of a Marriage:

Our love has been anything but perfect and anything but static. Inevitably there have been times when one of us has outrun the other and has had to wait patiently for the other to catch up. There have been times when we have misunderstood each other, depended too much on each other, been insensitive to the other's needs. I do not believe there is any marriage where this does not happen. The growth of love is not a straight line, but a series of hills and valleys. I suspect in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over. Sometimes these desert lines are simply the only way to the next oasis. Which is far more lush and beautiful after the desert crossing than it could possibly have been without it.

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How profound!

I hope today some common myths have been identified and labeled for what they are. In contrast, I hope that some truths of an eternal nature have been stated. The Bible is filled with them. I trust that I have hinted at a realistic approach to life that urges you and me to stick with something or someone faithfully, working through the problems instead of avoiding them. Divorce isn't the real answer. There are myths that can break up your marriage. But there is an alternative way through which comes from an honest, straightforward appraisal of who you and I are and what God can enable us to be in our relationships!

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Preaching Magazine – (Used by permission).

http://www.preaching.com/resources/sermons/11547136/page1/

John A Huffman, Jr. is Senior Pastor of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach, CA.

NOTE: THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY PARTICULAR CHURCH OR BELIEF, EXCEPT CHRISTIAN BELIEFS. However, the Wisdom of God can be found wherever God leads us to discover and experience it. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the foundation of this ministry.