Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence

Adult Children of Alcoholics
Email subscriptons
SITE MAP - Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence. Org
DV Personal Stories
The Things We Don't Want To Talk About
You Are Not Alone!
Judges Chapter 19
Harpo and Sophia -- (The Color Purple)
The Signs of Abuse
Resources For Those Who Abuse
Domestic Violence/Abuse Courses
An Open Letter to Pastors
There Is Nothing New Under The Sun
Preach the Word!
The Wrong Advice
Thus Saith the Lord
She Was Married To Christ First
Biblical Submission
Domestic Violence And Alcohol
Happily Ever After
Teen Dating and Violence
My Favorite Hymns and Prayers
Links - When It Is Time To Leave
Resources For Church Leaders
Visit My Store
Man Is Defiled From Within
Profile of the Sociopath
Can Abusers Change?
Should I Forgive My Abuser?
You Are So Sensitive
Myths That Can Destroy A Marriage
Domestic Violence/The Workplace
Male Victims of Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence and Abusive Women
Domestic Violence and Advertising


You know something is wrong, but you cannot figure it out. The more your mind struggles for clarity, the more confused you become. People treat you differently, and you find yourself always asking, "What is wrong with me?" Most times you feel like a freak, and although it is not your desire, you are alone. Even with a crowd of people around, wife, husband, kids, you feel the abysmal void within your soul, threatening to swallow you whole - continuously.

As time goes by, you give up hope that you will ever feel whole, complete, and sane. Your mind brings to remembrance ugly things that you want to forget. The nightmares keep you awake, and the flashbacks make you crazy. You envy other people who seem to have it all together, and each day you become angrier inside, and most times, you do not know why.


If you are an adult that grew up with alcoholism and violence as I have, you may be suffering the ill affects of childhood trauma. There was a lot of "crazy making" in my mother’s house; and years later, I am still dealing with the fallout. However, I praise Almighty God for His leading me to a Group that helped me to see things more clearly. I understand now that my family was dysfunctional, and I didn’t cause their dysfunction - I was born into it.


The following questions will help you to determine if you were affected by family dysfunction, especially in a household with violence and alcohol:

  • Do people in authority tend to frighten you?
  • Do you find yourself constantly seeking the approval from others?
  • Do you see yourself as a victim or look at the world from the perspective of a victim?
  • Do you sometimes consider the needs of others to the point of neglecting your own wants or needs?
  • Have you ever had relationships with people who need taken care of or need you to rescue them?
  • Do you tend to judge yourself harshly, especially when things do not turn out perfectly?
  • Do you find that you have difficulty having fun?
  • Do you feel that you are basically different from other 'normal' people?
  • Do you have a tendency to be either super responsible or super irresponsible?
  • Do you have difficulty having intimate relationships?
  • Do you have a tendency to isolate yourself from others, especially when things are not going well?
  • Do angry people tend to frighten you?
  • Do you enjoy being on the edge or like taking risks?
  • Is it easier to give into the demands of others than stand up for yourself?
  • Do you have difficulty in telling others about your feelings?
  • Do you tend to hold on to relationships, even if they become one-sided or painful?
  • Do you tend to lock yourself into a course of action even if it appears it will not turn out as you planned?
  • Do you feel that you spend a lot of time cleaning up problems created by others?

Adult Children of Alcoholics Screening Quiz

(You can take the test at the following link to see how you score)




For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139: 13-16


No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.


© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009

All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®,© Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation - Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Also using scripture from the KJV where noted.

Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
To learn more about the Hotline, please click on the following link:
SAFETY ALERT: Computer use can be monitored and it is impossible to completely clear all website footprints.
If you are in danger, please use a safer computer that your abuser can not access
directly or remotely.
Learn more about internet safety:

NOTE: THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY PARTICULAR CHURCH OR BELIEF, EXCEPT CHRISTIAN BELIEFS. However, the Wisdom of God can be found wherever God leads us to discover and experience it. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the foundation of this ministry.




Any information on this site is for informational purposes only. Visitors of this site shall assume all responsibility as to how the shared information will be used on a personal basis. This organization does not provide counseling services of any kind.

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