ACOA – ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS

You know something is wrong, but you cannot figure it out. The more your mind struggles for clarity, the more confused you become. People treat you differently, and you find yourself always asking, "What is wrong with me?" Most times you feel like a freak, and although it is not your desire, you are alone. Even with a crowd of people around, wife, husband, kids, you feel the abysmal void within your soul, threatening to swallow you whole - continuously.

As time goes by, you give up hope that you will ever feel whole, complete, and sane. Your mind brings to remembrance ugly things that you want to forget. The nightmares keep you awake, and the flashbacks make you crazy. You envy other people who seem to have it all together, and each day you become angrier inside, and most times, you do not know why.

If you are an adult that grew up with alcoholism and violence as I have, you may be suffering the ill affects of childhood trauma. There was a lot of "crazy making" in my mother’s house; and years later, I am still dealing with the fallout. However, I praise Almighty God for His leading me to a Group that helped me to see things more clearly. I understand now that my family was dysfunctional, and I didn’t cause their dysfunction - I was born into it.

The following questions will help you to determine if you were affected by family dysfunction, especially in a household with violence and alcohol:

• Do people in authority tend to frighten you?
• Do you find yourself constantly seeking the approval from others?
• Do you see yourself as a victim or look at the world from the perspective of a victim?
• Do you sometimes consider the needs of others to the point of neglecting your own wants or needs?
• Have you ever had relationships with people who need taken care of or need you to rescue them?
• Do you tend to judge yourself harshly, especially when things do not turn out perfectly?
• Do you find that you have difficulty having fun?
• Do you feel that you are basically different from other 'normal' people?
• Do you have a tendency to be either super responsible or super irresponsible?
• Do you have difficulty having intimate relationships?
• Do you have a tendency to isolate yourself from others, especially when things are not going well?
• Do angry people tend to frighten you?
• Do you enjoy being on the edge or like taking risks?
• Is it easier to give into the demands of others than stand up for yourself?
• Do you have difficulty in telling others about your feelings?
• Do you tend to hold on to relationships, even if they become one-sided or painful?
• Do you tend to lock yourself into a course of action even if it appears it will not turn out as you planned?
• Do you feel that you spend a lot of time cleaning up problems created by others?

Adult Children of Alcoholics Screening Quiz

(You can take the test at the following link to see how you score)

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/adult/a/quiz_adult.htm

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