CRUELTY TO CHILDREN
People
often envision cruelty to children as battering, rape, neglect, and verbal abuse – the injustices that take your breath
away. When you read about a mother starving her children to death, you may wonder how can a mother be so cruel to her precious
gift from God. Parents that injure their children physically, mentally and emotionally have no idea how much damage they are
causing their children. Many abused children carry their childhood abuses with them for life, and often have difficulty relating
to others in both childhood and adulthood.
Physical
bruises heal in time, but the emotional scars in many cases never heal without the proper counseling, love, understanding
and most of all, the Grace of God. Child Psychologists may be able to help numerous children understand that the abuses are
not their fault, and are therefore able to assist many with navigating life to become productive adults in our society.
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But
what about the children who witness violence in their homes? Those who are not privileged to professional counseling,
and continue to endure the atrocities of a violent environment are often scarred in ways their parent(s) may not recognize.
From my own experience of growing up with alcoholism and domestic violence, I can testify to the fact that living under such
conditions amount to child cruelty. In an indirect way, numerous children are subject to home situations that amount to cruelty,
for what they witness – unkindness, meanness, malice, spite, brutality and the like, damage their minds and souls forever.
Growing
up in violent homes produces pain – deep-seated pain – that manifests in the life of the child in many ways. My
childhood pain produced shame, timidity, inadequacies, fearfulness, and a host of other damaging effects that I still carry
with me today. It is only by the Grace of God that I am able to name these atrocities, and put them into perspective –
my parents failed to live up to their responsibilities. I was a child, and not to blame for the violence and abuse that I
witnessed, and lived with for many years.
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In
this post, I am pleading with women who love their abusers beyond all reason to consider their children. Many times, abused
women will do all they can to make their relationship work with the man who terrorizes them regularly, but give little or
no thought as to the emotional damage their children will have to live with as adults. Numerous women will stay many years
in a violent and abusive situation, even after their children are grown. But they don’t understand that even when the
children have left the nest, along with the bags they packed, they also packed emotional bags filled with rage, hurt, pain,
confusion, stifled growth, and the inability to shed easily all they have experienced.
Every
abusive situation is different, and countless women want to leave – but may not have the necessary resources to do so.
On the other hand, my Mother had family support, but she didn’t make good use of it. Because my Mother is deceased,
I can only assume that she was a tad bit selfish, perhaps an emotionally sick woman. I don't have the priviledge of asking
her, "Why?" In either case, she was aware of right from wrong, and allowing my two brothers and myself to grow up in a negative
environment was selfish. She often stated that she would not let us go with relatives for she “wanted her children with
her.” I don’t know if being on welfare at times had anything to do with it. But for sure, she would have had no
reason to ask the government for assistance if she had no children in her home to care for. Or perhaps she would have felt
like a failure as a mother. I really don’t know.
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But
this I do know, it was cruel and unjust to keep us in her home under dire circumstances. If all of this were taking place
today, I would bet that my brothers and I would be in foster care. At times we starved, had no decent clothing, and were evicted
from many rental homes. On top of all of this, the violence and abuse was cruel and unusual punishment – no child should
have to live life this way. I can safely say that my Mother only thought of herself, and her needs, and not the needs of her
children.
For
those of you who live with violence and have the capacity to materially provide for your children, the end results are still
the same. It is a cruel thing to allow your children to be unnecessarily subjected to domestic violence and abuse. Having
a man, keeping a man, should not supersede the responsibility to care for innocent children that may eventually live the negativity
they learned at home. And even if your sons and daughters don’t learn to abuse others, they still carry emotional scars
that may hinder their growth as productive adults within our society.
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The
solution – if you can leave that violent world, leave it! No relationship is more lasting, until death do you part,
than that of parent and child. Relationships will come and go, but your children are yours forever. Long after that man that
you loved so much has moved in with another woman, you precious children will still be in your life. It is your responsibility
to make sure that your children are cared for, and nurtured in a positive way. There are countless single parents that have
done a super job in raising their children alone. It is not an easy thing to do, especially when you don’t have the
earning capacity to do it comfortably. Raising children takes money, but it is not all about money.
I
implore you to protect your precious gifts from God, and be accountable for their stability in life. I often wished that my
Mother had let us go to relatives. Some may say that life unfolded as it should, but I don’t think that is totally true.
It is a mental struggle to become adults and don’t have a clue who you really are. If you never saw the movie, “Girl Interrupted,” you should watch it. For in many cases, this
movie represents the legacy of countless children that suffer from child-sexual abuse, violence and confusion in the home.
If you have tried your best to get out of your situation – that is one thing. But what are you doing in the meantime
to protect the minds and souls of your children, while you seek a solution to your situation?
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Let
it be known that this post isn’t about casting blame, or pointing fingers. Nor is it about not understanding that being
in love can be blinding. It is about the countless children that are messed up emotionally for life – and parents ignoring
the danger signs. Not all males who witness violence as children learn to beat on women. My brother Joey was an exception
– and one day he hit the wrong woman. She stabbed him to death at the age of 27. He emulated the violence that was all
around us, especially within our home.
If
children reared in alcoholic/violent homes did not suffer from the fallout, there wouldn’t be a need for agencies
such as, ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). If alcoholism weren’t an atrocity within our society, there would be no
reason for AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) to exist. Are you feeling me so far? I hope so. There is no such thing as a perfect parent;
however, the Word of God can teach you how to be an acceptable parent – looking out for the best interest of your children.
Not only are children a gift from God, but the future.
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Children
within our society are going to jail at a younger age, and at an alarming rate. That “Village” that I grew up
with during the 50’s and 60’s has ceased to exist. Many males and females are having and making babies, but
not parenting them – helping their children to navigate life, as they should. The first thing I ask myself
when I watch on the news, another young child in trouble with the law is, “Where are the parents?” Granted, there
are many parents who have to work two jobs and don’t have time to be home with their kids. Certain circumstances are
understandable. But instilling values and self-respect is still possible even under trying situations. I grew up poor and literally hungry at times, but I didn’t steal from anyone. It never occurred to
me to knock an old lady in the head, and take her social security check. So, this proves that my Mother knew right from wrong,
for she instilled within her children values – values that she herself failed to live up to.
It
is my hope that my sharing will enable you both – mom and dad, to break away from toxic situations that hinder the welfare
of your children. And one last thought; the Bible says that in the latter times, things will get “worst and worst.”
(2 Tim. 3:1, 13)
Are you raising your children to be a part of the solution, or a part of the problem?
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If
our spiritual eyes are opened, we can see the effects of troubled homes on our society.
America’s children are running amuck – without guidance, and certainly lacking knowledge of God, and right
from wrong. Where do you stand with your children? Is your present relationship more important to you then giving your children
your all? Can you recognize the pain in their faces whenever you are abused, or when they are abused? Do you realize that even
though they console you because of your beatings, they are nurturing anger, insecurities, inadequacies, and a host
of emotions that they should not have to bear? Do you realize that the constant violence in the home (video games/media included),
will somehow desensitize your children to violence itself? We have a moral obligation to raise up a child to the best of our
ability. If you can’t leave an abusive environment for yourself, please consider trying to leave for the sake of your
children.
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Man Charged With Dragging Woman Down Stairs
Posted: 6:03 am EDT September 28, 2009
ROME, Ga. -- A
Rome man faces misdemeanor charges after police say he dragged a woman down a flight of steps during a domestic dispute.
Police
charged 29-year-old Eric
Brandon Reonas
with misdemeanor battery and cruelty to children for the Thursday incident. Police did not identify the woman, who suffered
a neck injury and dislocated her hip in the incident.
Rome
police say Reonas grabbed the woman around the neck and forced her down a flight of stairs. Reonas faced child cruelty charges
because the incident happened in front of a child.
http://www.wtvynews4.com/georgianews/headlines/62284962.html
