Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence

The Responsibility of The Church
Email subscriptons
SITE MAP - Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence. Org
DV Personal Stories
The Things We Don't Want To Talk About
You Are Not Alone!
Judges Chapter 19
Harpo and Sophia -- (The Color Purple)
The Signs of Abuse
Resources For Those Who Abuse
Domestic Violence/Abuse Courses
An Open Letter to Pastors
There Is Nothing New Under The Sun
Preach the Word!
The Wrong Advice
Thus Saith the Lord
She Was Married To Christ First
Biblical Submission
Domestic Violence And Alcohol
Happily Ever After
Teen Dating and Violence
My Favorite Hymns and Prayers
Links - When It Is Time To Leave
Resources For Church Leaders
Visit My Store
Man Is Defiled From Within
Profile of the Sociopath
Can Abusers Change?
Should I Forgive My Abuser?
You Are So Sensitive
Myths That Can Destroy A Marriage
Domestic Violence/The Workplace
Male Victims of Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence and Abusive Women
Domestic Violence and Advertising

It really breaks my heart, that too many churches ignore the horrors of domestic violence. This leaves me to wonder if Christians really believe-there is “Power in the blood.” As a Christian, I do believe that God can-and is willing to change abusive hearts. But I also believe that the preaching of His Word against this atrocity is vital and missing in our churches. Not everyone who hears the Word of God will experience a change of heart, for many people love the darkness in which they live. The bible says:


…”the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.”



But hardened hearts should not be a deterrent to preaching the truth. I believe that if preachers and teachers of God’s Word included domestic violence and abuse in their sermons and bible study, God would move in miraculous ways. Long gone are the sermons about hell-fire and brimstone. Nowadays, if the people desire “feel good” sermons, the people get what they want.


And why is this? It is profitable-period. Today’s preachers seem to be in a race to see who can build the biggest mega church, or churches. The end result is, the bigger the church, the larger the contributions. Some of them have church extensions in different states. One Sunday they are preaching at their home church, and the next Sunday at their other church in another city or state.


Worship has become big business, and the souls of the people don’t seem to be all that important anymore. Ministers seem to stay clear of sermons that could possibly draw them into the personal lives of the members of their congregation. Many of them are not spiritually equipped to address the needs of the abused, and others just don’t want to get involved. I personally believe that numerous churches are concerned about damage control. They are afraid that the publicly may decrease their numbers, but I believe otherwise.



Oh sure, there will be perpetrators that may withdraw from a particular church, but for everyone that leaves, God can replace him or her with someone who is hungry for the pure Word of God. Any church that accepts Jesus Christ as Lord has a responsibility to preach the truth. If not, they shall give an account both in this life, and in the Day of Judgment, (Revelations-chapters 1-3).




When my ex-husband started becoming more and more verbally abusive, I knew that I could not live under the same roof with him. Not only was he abusive to me, he said hurtful things to my children, his stepchildren. We were both members of a small church in New Jersey, and I was very active in helping the church to grow. My ex was one of the song leaders, and occasionally read the opening scriptures.


Stan was very ugly at home, and deceptively pious during worship services. One of the things that were in my favor is that eventually he exhibited negative behavior in front of members of the congregation. When I finally opened up to one of the ministers, I was believed for there was visible proof that Stan wasn’t being very Christian-like. After studying the bible with this particular minister, I told him that I could not take the verbal abuse anymore, and that on one occasion Stan pushed me, and threatened my son with violence. He was 13-years old at the time.



I was working a very good job, and cleaning houses on my day off. So, as far as money, I was in a position to maintain an apartment of my own. I didn’t have the down payment when I decided “enough is enough,” but the minister met with the other leaders and voted to assist me. They didn’t believe the horrible lies that Stan said about me, like cheating on him. They knew me better than that, for my character exhibited otherwise. They gave me a check to secure an apartment, and I won’t say the transition was an easy one. Stan and I still attended the same church, however, his attendance became less and less. He resigned, and went to another church miles away.


The ministers did not counsel me to; “Cook better;” “Don’t aggravate him;” “Pray more;” or the unfortunate advice that many Christian women receive in other churches. Stan was angry that he was confronted in Christian love-with the Word. He felt that the “good old boy” network was alive and well, and should have been on his side-applaud the mistreatment. He erronously believed that his behavior exhibited true manhood. What and whom he encountered were true men of the Word, and he didn’t want to hear what God had to say about his treatment of his wife. So he departed, never to return. Which was fine with me. I was able to worship in peace.



This is exactly what it will take for Christian women to get the help that they need. True men of God that will take a biblical stand, and not waver. One of the bible lessons was on “Marriage, divorce and re-marriage.” And because it was determined that Stan didn’t divorce his first wife for biblical reasons, our marriage was an “adulterous” marriage. No wonder it didn’t work! I was never married prior to our marriage, so biblically; Stan was the guilty party in the eyes of God. I was free to leave him, (1 Corinthians 6:10-11).


But please know this, I was also counseled that I was free to leave the abuse as well. As Christians, we have an obligation to serve God with all of our hearts. An abused heart is a divided heart. Stan was an “oppressor,” and God does not delight in His people being oppressed, (afflicted)-(Acts 7:34). Because he rejected the counsel of the Word of God, he was considered an “unbeliever.”


God has called us to peace- “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace,” (1 Corinthians 6:15).





1 Corinthians 7:29-35 (New American Standard Bible)

"But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none;

and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess;

and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.

But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;

but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,

and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord."

DOMESTIC ABUSE -Does It Ever Stop?


No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.


© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009

All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®,© Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation - Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Also using scripture from the KJV where noted.

Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
To learn more about the Hotline, please click on the following link:
SAFETY ALERT: Computer use can be monitored and it is impossible to completely clear all website footprints.
If you are in danger, please use a safer computer that your abuser can not access
directly or remotely.
Learn more about internet safety:

NOTE: THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY PARTICULAR CHURCH OR BELIEF, EXCEPT CHRISTIAN BELIEFS. However, the Wisdom of God can be found wherever God leads us to discover and experience it. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the foundation of this ministry.




Any information on this site is for informational purposes only. Visitors of this site shall assume all responsibility as to how the shared information will be used on a personal basis. This organization does not provide counseling services of any kind.

Page copy protected against web site content infringement
                                       by Copyscape