"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:
Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his
heart is not with thee."
Orr, James, M.A., D.D. General Editor. "Entry for "HEART". "International Standard Bible Encyclopedia." http://www.studylight.org/enc/isb/view.cgi?number=T4199. 1915
Author James Allen wrote a timeless book entitled, "As A Man Thinketh." Many
who have purchased this "classic" viewed it as, "the key to success," "powerful," and "relevant in today’s stressful
and competitive society." Clearly, Mr. Allen understood the teachings of the bible.
Proverbs 23:7 says: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink,
saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee."
Those who practice domestic violence and abuse are acting out what is in
the depths of their hearts. The thoughts and desires of our hearts are hidden to others. The only way people will know
anything about you, is through your words and actions. Otherwise, only God and each individual truly knows what is in your
If we had the ability to know the hidden
heart of another, we could possibly avoid unpleasant attachments. Our dating rituals would take on a whole new meaning. Our
choices in lifelong partners would be based more on facts, rather than emotion. We would
be armed with warning signs of future domestic violence, angry hearts, or potentially abusive characteristics in others.
Unfortunately, this capability is Divine in nature, and belongs to God and
our Lord Jesus only. As human beings, we are limited to outward appearances until we spend time getting to know someone. You
will never know everything about a person, and they will never know everything about you. Because of pride,
shame, fear, or many other reasons, we all hold back something that is hidden deep within our hearts.
God made us visual creatures, and when dating we are first in tune with what
we see outwardly. He looks good, she looks good, or fine, handsome, or beautiful. As we focus on the outside of the package,
we often overlook-even ignore signs of future trouble. When smitten by what we see on the surface, charm, status, style, masculinity,
and femininity, etc, we miss so many important facts.
Our ears may hear smooth, sweet, often rehearsed words that show no signs
of a future life of domestic violence. When we are needy for love, our ears only want to hear what sounds like
happiness and bliss. Sadly, we are often fooled by what is shown to us, and don’t see the real person that we plan
to date or marry.
In fact, people often say of a murderer, "He doesn’t look like a murderer."
And when they find that their soft spoken neighbor has been beating his wife, they are surprised. They may even say, "He doesn’t
seem like the type." Or, "I never would have guessed that he is a wife beater."
Deviant personalities can fool you with their charm, kindness, helpfulness
and the friendly nice-guy act. Only those who live behind closed doors with the Deceiver will know the truth. He is ruthless,
mean spirited, violent and full of deception. True character cannot be judged by outward appearances.
THE HIDDEN HEART OF MAN
The Greek word for heart is "kardia."
"The heart in Scripture is variously used, sometimes for the mind and understanding,
sometimes for the will, sometimes for the affections, sometimes for the conscience, sometimes for the whole soul. Generally,
it denotes the whole soul of man and all the facilities of it, not absolutely, but as they are all one principle of moral
operations, as they all concur in our doing of good and evil." 1
This hidden part of man lies deep within him. When we take time to know someone, it is the "kardia,"
the real person that he is, his mental and moral state of mind that we are becoming aware of. The heart is capable of logic,
thought, discernment, and reasoning’s:
"But some of the scribes were sitting there and reasoning in their hearts." (Mark2:6).
Verse 8: "Immediately, Jesus, aware in His spirit that they were reasoning that way within themselves,
said to them, 'Why are you reasoning about these things in your hearts?' "
We often believe that a person’s true "kardia" is what
they show us. Or what we perceive their true character to be. People will often say one thing, and do another from their "kardia."
An abusive man plays the game of "bait and switch" while he is wooing you into marriage or co-habitation. From what you see
of him on the outside, you reason within your mind that he is worth taking a chance.
You have no clue that you will live a life of violence and
fear, for your Knight’s true self is hidden deep within him. Many women don’t make it past the honeymoon stage
before the violence begins. Abusers wait for the right moment, (the trap), to begin exercising control to make your life miserable.
They know exactly what they are doing, for their "kardia" is capable of logic, thought, discernment and reasoning. Violence
is a conscious choice.